Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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