so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
