I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
