im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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