At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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