I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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