I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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