Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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