For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
