I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize