if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
