you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
