I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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