I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
