just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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