This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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