I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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