Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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