dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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