Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i out mim tonsoeep
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