Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
