Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
false alarm. still invincible.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
