All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
