Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
