But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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