What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
