Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
