I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
