Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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