Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
