She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
