I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
