oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
