Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
