i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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