"it" just moved
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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