I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
