return my video game
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
