I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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