The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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