who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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