Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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