Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
