i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
