im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
