you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
