How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
