This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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