I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need water and some morals
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
