I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
