so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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