this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
