Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
