i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
