when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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