i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
