If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she smelled like a LAN party
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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