I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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