She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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