the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
