when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
