Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
