porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
