Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
